I was browsing the Harry Hartog’s bookstore in Bondi Junction and saw this book. Considering what we are going through at the moment the title was irresistible.
The book is an anthology of essays, edited by Rebecca Huntley and Sarah Macdonald, who also make contributions. The contributors are a variety of writers and media personalities.
Have you ever seen someone suffer from a anaphylaxis attack? It is not a pretty sight! James Jeffrey’s ‘On a fin and a Prayer’ documents one particular attack which he describes as a small scale horror show.
Rebecca Huntley’s ‘Flat packed Fuck Up’ is a sorry tale of going to IKEA four times in eleven hours. She and her husband Daniel decide that it is time to get new beds for their twin girls Every time they go to IKEA they get their order wrong until the last time, veru late in the afternoon.
Bernard Salt’s ‘The Smashed Avocado’ is quite a story. The title comes from a column Salt wrote for The Australian. Salt’s column was a bit of a throwaway column reflecting on how many young people enjoy a cafe lifetsyle whilst they complain about how hard it is to pay off their mortage. The column went viral with a lot of young people entering the debate.
Ivan Coyote ‘I Love Dick’ is about a beautiful woman gets harassed at a bus stop by a very large man who is demanding her attention. The large man is ticked off by an elderly woman and then by Coyote.The author then puts up a public Facebook post about the incident that goes viral:
“Dear dudes, yes, all men : she’s wearing headphones AND reading a book. This is code for she is not interested. She knows she looks beautiful. She is not obligated to smile at you. If she is being polite to you it might be because she knows that if she isn’t you might get nasty, even violent, and this is a lesson she was taught as a little girl. She’s not wearing the dress for you. She’s not on the bus to meet men, it’s public transport. Leave her alone. Tell your friends.”
Ivan’s post goes viral with lots of different reactions. A Russian feminist discussion group invites him to join their group but rejects him when they find out that he is anon-binary trans person.
Richard Glover’s essay ‘Debra racks off to Melbourne’. depicts how his wife Debra is always going away to Melbourne and its as if he is a single man again.
“ This is the way I find myself behaving as a single person : a man with no standards, no self respect and crucially no witnesses.
“What’s to stop the laundry from piling up, together with the household garbage and the unwashed plates and pans, until the neighbours start complaining about the stench, the council whacks a fumigation order on the house and you find yourself the subject of a tabloid current affairs show. Strange Hermit lives with rats and mice in fetid house of shame is presumably the headline they will use to advertise my story.”
Sally Rugg’s essay ‘Got lost on the Way, Baby?’ discusses what it’s like to suffer from Developmental Topographical Disorder (DTD)
Rugg writes, “My brain however grew in utero with a fun little quirk called Developmental Topographical Disorder which means that I’m going to take a few more minutes than you would to get back from the bathroom in this restaurant unless you come with me please.
“Having DTD isn’t like having a poor sense of direction or not being very good at reading maps. It’s a permanent disorientation that renders you completely lost beyond what you see in your immediate surroundings. Often, it’s an absolute catastrophe.”
Robbie Buck’s describes his essay ‘I’ll be a Real Man’ as being about a catastrophic quest for love. He goes back to when he is an eighteen year old art college student with shoulder length long hair and is in love with a beautiful young woman called Elisabeth who he had a brief affair with.
Robbie is with friends in Birdsville, a small town in far western Queensland, near the border with South Australia, documenting the annual Birdsville races. He calculates that he is only 1,000 kilometres away from his beloved Elisabeth. He decides that by hook or crook and lots of hitch hiking he will head up north and hook up with Elisabeth.You might be able to guess how this one way long distance relationship ends.
This collection features some 32 essays, each of which chart interesting and engaging journeys.
THE FULL CATASTROPHE : STORIES : STORIES FROM WHEN LIFE WAS SO BAD IT WAS FUNNY made for good light reading. The book has been published by Hardie Grant Books Sydney. ISBN 9781743795453.
